You are listening to My Freedom Grove podcast with Gretchen Hernandez, episode 103.

Welcome to My Freedom Grove podcast. The all inclusive podcast that teaches mindset and business tools. We'll help you rise as your authentic self. Be unshakable with your emotional freedom and unstoppable in achieving any goal and living your purpose. I'm your host, Gretchen Hernandez. If you want to put your mental health first in life, relationships and business, you've come to the right place.

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Hi my strong friend. Hey, have you ever noticed in the intro of this podcast that I say we'll help you rise as your authentic self? Have you ever wondered why I choose to use the, we pronoun as much as I was fascinated by that movie, Sybil as a kid, you know the one with Sally field, I'm not a multiple personality. So when I say we, I'm not talking about myself, I actually use I when I talk about myself.

 

So the reason why I use we is because I always want to tag in other coaches with different experience and knowledge so that you have all of the support that you need to have a great life and business. Just like the Redwood trees that thrive by connecting their roots to form an unshakeable circle. And they survive for years. Like thousands of years, My Freedom Grove is gonna help you do the same thing.

 

I want you to be able to rise as your authentic self to do that. I want to surround you with a support system of other coaches, healers, and educators that all have the same values as you. Today, I'm bringing back Stacey Uhrig to share about relationship marketing.

 

I first introduced you to Stacey in episode number 95 on getting unstuck. In that episode, we went deep into the modality of rapid transformational therapy.

Well, Stacey also has another incredible skillset she's developed during her 20+ years as an entrepreneur. Stacey loves helping people as much as I do. When I asked if she could share about relationship marketing, she responded with, of course! Because she cares about people.

 

If she has knowledge that can help you overcome any of your obstacles, she's more than willing to share. So marketing your business is often a huge obstacle. It can be scary and intimidating. The marketing gurus that we see the most might using a style that's not authentic to you.

 

Have you ever felt uncomfortable thinking, oh my gosh, I have to do that in order to get people to know about my business? Well, the answer is no, you don't have to do it that way. It might have worked for them, but if it doesn't feel comfortable for you, if that's not authentic to you, there are so many other ways.

Sure. It seems like they're out and they're visible and they're hugely successful. But what you don't see is that there's a whole other way of marketing that is more of like behind scenes at times, it's comfortable, it's natural. And these businesses are just as successful. I know because I'm one of those. I prefer to do marketing in a much more low key kind of way, where I get to connect with people and form those relationships. And then the rest just happens naturally.

 

I learned a lot of my techniques from the two books, the Go Giver by Bob Berg and the Prosperous Coach by Steve Chandler. And Stacey has also mastered relationship marketing. She's learned a ton through her years. She's going to share how she does it her way. So she stays aligned with her values and her authentic self.

 

Part of the magic of relationship marketing, and Stacey's gonna go into this, is believing that the universe will conspire to help your ideal clients find you. So let's get started.

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Gretchen Hernandez:

Hi Stacey. Thank you so much for coming back onto the podcast.

Stacey Uhrig:

You're welcome, it's so nice to be here!

Gretchen Hernandez:

Before we get started, I want to have you introduce yourself again because not everybody might have already listened to the previous podcast. Which they should, but I want them to know who you are. So please introduce yourself. Sure.

 

Re-Introducing Stacey Uhrig

 

Stacey Uhrig:

So my name is Stacey Uhrig and I'm a life coach. I'm also a certified hypno-therapist and what's called a Rapid Transformational Therapy practitioner. And people can find me at my website, which is flipyourmindset.com. And my mission and goal is to help transform people and bring them the peace that they've been seeking.

 

Showing Up through Social Media

 

Gretchen Hernandez:

You do such a great job at it, too. I know that's why people need to go back and listen to the previous episode where I shared like huge breakthrough that you helped me to get. We had a great chat about RTT and getting unstuck, and you've had some momentum going forward in that. And I want to let everybody have an update, but before we get to, I wanted to bring you back to have you share expertise around relationship marketing.

Stacey Uhrig:

Because when you and I first met, I was still trying to figure out marketing part, but you are a master at this part. And so I picked up a lot of tips and tricks from you and I started doing things and it was like, oh my gosh, marketing got so much easier. So I thought you're the expert in my eyes in this. And I think that my audience can definitely benefit from hearing what is relationship marketing? So if you would be so kind to share, I appreciate it.

Stacey Uhrig:

Sure. So first and foremost, and I said this to you before we started recording, you know, I don't see myself as an expert at it, but I found a way to promote myself or my business or my products as it was through a less formalized form of marketing. A more alternative form of marketing. And it's important to know that though, I don't have a marketing degree, I owned a brick and mortar business for 17 years. And I was the director of marketing in that business for a long time.

Stacey Uhrig:

So I'm very familiar with data analytics and funnels and landing pages and all of the things necessary to create a process-formed marketing. And you know, when you and I met, this was me dabbling in my life coaching. And really the primary part of my particular income was coming from a direct sales business that I had.

Stacey Uhrig:

You know, I learned a lot about social selling. So whether we call it relational marketing, relationship marketing, some people call it attraction marketing. I just really saw it as social selling. And so what I did was I learned how to make deep, meaningful connections with people by showing up. And it's a little bit easier to do that on social media, whether it's a platform like LinkedIn, for those that I have professional services for other professionals, or for me, I was really working towards just individual consumers.

Stacey Uhrig:

I used platforms like Facebook or Instagram to simply show up as I was and form a connection with people through my posts, through my stories, which I used a lot, to create a sense where... And I can't make this up because this would come to me, often people coming to me and saying, I feel like I know you.

Stacey Uhrig:

I would get that a lot. I know we don't know each other, but I follow you every day, and I feel like I know you. And I really like what you're doing and I'm interested in what you're doing. And so therefore I'm interested in X or I'm interested in Y or whatever it was that I was promoting at the time.

Stacey Uhrig:

At that time, it was the product that I had that I was building through my network marketing business, but I learned so much about that connectivity and the way to create meaningful relationships, that when I opened my life coach practice, it was by far the biggest skillset that I took with me from the one business to the other. Which was how to have a lasting impact on someone by just simply showing up. And that to me is what relationship marketing is.

Gretchen Hernandez:

So you mentioned part of that marketing is just to show up, what does that look like?

Stacey Uhrig:

For me, it means exposing myself, getting a little vulnerable, putting myself out there. One of the things that I personally love, and I know a lot of people have a love, hate relationship with social media, specifically Facebook and Instagram, because they call it Facebook or Finstagram. Or like people are just showing the highlight reels of their life. But what I like to show is what I call the real reel. And what I like to show is, Hey, I'm an imperfect person in an imperfect world. This is how I live my life. This is how I navigate life, because this is what so many people are so challenged with. And this is how I do it. And these are the products that I use. And these are the services that I use. And these are the tips and tricks I use in my life. So I just show up as human.

Stacey Uhrig:

And I do strategically do it. You know, I have kind of a calendar, if you will. I kind of predetermine some ideas of things that I can use as content. I think you have to kind of do that in order to keep the ball rolling, but I leave room for flexibility. It's not this really tight, strict calendar because things pop up. Like a kid tears, a ligament, and has to have surgery.

Stacey Uhrig:

Or I made a really good dish that people wanna know about. For some reason the things that I post about food wise get like the biggest hit. And we can get to that. But when I just show up and show people my life, they seem to wanna log in and see what's going on in my life. And as I'm doing that, I'm sprinkling in the things that I can offer that can be a benefit to them.

Stacey Uhrig:

It's really that simple. In the sense that, you know this as a coach. I just was saying this to another life coach yesterday, but the greatest gift of being a coach is that there's really not one person that can't benefit from your service.

Gretchen Hernandez:

That's very true!

Stacey Uhrig:

Right? The biggest difference is this flavor. So for example, I'll show up in my authentic self on social media. Showing what I love to do, how I spend my time, but I truly do show up as my full, authentic self. And that turns some people off and turns some people on. And I'm totally okay with that.

Stacey Uhrig:

So when I show up in my full, authentic self, if somebody decides to work with me because they're are feeling that connection and they're feeling drawn, I need more time with this woman. They know I'm gonna drop an F bomb.

Stacey Uhrig:

They know I'm gonna say it like it is. They know I'm not prim and proper, but that's why they wanna work with me. I've literally had people say to me, I want to work with you because you are willing to drop an F bomb in the session. Because you are willing to get real. Because you are willing to stop me and call me out on my BS. I need that in my life.

Stacey Uhrig:

So I've had other people that have messaged me and said, I'm gonna take myself off your calendar because you curse. And I say, okay. You know, I can definitely monitor myself and I'm working with a client and I say, listen upfront, do you, I, this tends to be my nature. If this is gonna bother you, I can curb it. But if somebody tells me upfront, look, I'm not gonna work with you because don't like your political view, which I don't really bring politics into social media ever. But I don't like something you posted or I don't like the way you said that cause you dropped an F bomb. I say, okay.

Stacey Uhrig:

And that to me is coming from a place of abundance and not scarcity. I'm not for everyone. And that's okay. I'm totally okay with that because I do believe the universe has put me on this planet to serve. And I believe that I will serve the people that I am meant to serve. And that to me is coming to it purely from a place of abundance.

 

The Origin Story of Stacey's Sense of Self

Gretchen Hernandez:

I love that you shared that, because I was gonna ask you, how did you get there? Because, and that's me assuming that at one point you might not have been there of being willing to have some people say no, because I know that when we first start off in business, there's there is that worry of, oh no, is this business gonna make it, am I gonna be able to get clients? And so people might start to like try to change who they are because they think that's how you have to be and that you have to make everybody happy. So did you ever have a time where you thought you had to make everybody happy and to be a certain way, just so that you could get clients?

Stacey Uhrig:

So it's funny, you should ask that. Cause as you're asking that I'm thinking back and I'm smiling. People can't see that, but you know, I had an interesting childhood. And you know, me, it always comes back to childhood, right? I had this very unique, not really super unique, but I had an interesting childhood where in my personal perception, I was left to fend for myself at a very early age.

Stacey Uhrig:

And when I say early age, I mean 12, 13. And I learned at an early age that I could not rely on other people's opinions to keep me safe. And I could not rely on other people's actions to keep me safe. And so I learned at a young age to be self-reliant. And so I also found in college that I walked with an err of confidence that some people saw as arrogant or cocky.

Stacey Uhrig:

And it really wasn't arrogance or cockiness. It was just, I was very comfortable making decisions. I had a lot of confidence, but it came from having to be self-reliant. And when other people were freaking out, either during a midterm or a practicum or whatever it was at the time, I was very confident in kind of just had this general sense of it will all work out.

Stacey Uhrig:

If you just show up as you, it will all work out. And people didn't like that. They found that to actually be somewhat threatening. To that point, I'm also the person, this is funny that we're talking about this. It's funny, the things that come up, but you know, if we were to go out on a Friday or Saturday night in college, girls would spend a lot of time getting ready. Right. Because they, lot of people wanna go out, maybe they wanna meet somebody or whatever their, you know, purpose is for going out.

Stacey Uhrig:

And I would literally show up in like baggy sweatpants with a tight t-shirt and doc Martins and my hair in like a top knot in the nineties. And they'd be like, we're going out. And I'm like, yeah, let's go. And they're like, you're going out that. And I was like, dude, if somebody is gonna wanna like me, they've gotta know what they're gonna be waking up to because I can't do what you're doing. Like I'm not, it's just not me. Yeah. I'm not that get dressed up, whatever.

Stacey Uhrig:

So I think I always walked with this air of like show up in your authentic self. It's just so much easier to just be you.

Gretchen Hernandez:

So much easier. Yes.

Stacey Uhrig:

It's so much easier. I don't need to play a game. I don't need to backtrack and be like, yeah, I know I was that girl in that cute dress at the bar, but actually this is really who I am. I just don't have time for it. And I don't have time for the, the smoke and mirrors.

Stacey Uhrig:

And so to answer your question, I think I, because I have had to learn how to rely on myself early on. And that, to me developed a deep sense of who I was. And I was very comfortable with my authentic self that it pushed me through as an entrepreneur. Cause I've been an entrepreneur since 1998 and some people liked it and some people didn't.

Stacey Uhrig:

And I learned very quickly that it was okay when some people walked, that business still came and it was the business I was meant to have. And that my job is not to be everything for everyone. My job is to provide a service and provide the damn best service you can get. And I'm gonna do it in my most authentic way.

Stacey Uhrig:

And if my authentic way is not for you, it's okay. Because there will be someone that will be there for you. That's gonna fit your need exactly the way it needs to be. There's so many of everyone out there. So many coaches, so many lo lawyers, so many doctors you'll find the one that you connect with. And if you don't connect, you'll find one that you do connect with. And I just inherently believe that if we can just walk through with abundance and not with scarcity, there's always enough to go around.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Yeah. Yeah. And if you don't show up those people that are looking for the different variety will never know that you exist.

Stacey Uhrig:

100%. And when it came to network marketing that was a real interesting experience because, you know, you were kind of thrown into this gaggle, if you will, of people that all sold the same thing. And I had a nice large team and I loved to coach them, as you can imagine, it was like the thing that I really loved the most. And when it came to showing up and it came to relationship marketing, not everybody was comfortable doing it because a lot of people are not comfortable in showing up in their own skin.

Stacey Uhrig:

They're very worried about other people's opinions. They lack that self-confidence. They lack that authenticity. And so I spent a lot of time coaching on that and, explaining to them, you know, you're coming from Texas, you have a point of view. You're coming from Georgia. You have a point of view. You're coming from California. You're coming from Maine. You're coming from Minnesota. I come from New Jersey.

Stacey Uhrig:

You don't know who's gonna connect with whom. Your job to show up as you. Somebody could choose to purchase that product from anyone, but they're going to want to purchase from you because of the connection. But they'll only know that if you show up. And it doesn't mean it doesn't mean having a website. It means showing up in your personality, showing up in your true authenticity.

Stacey Uhrig:

What if on top of selling whatever product you're selling, you're a chef, or maybe you're an iron man runner, or maybe you're a body lifter, or maybe you have 10 kids and you homeschool all of them. Like whatever your unique situation is, it's going to speak to someone. And that's what the person wants. They want to work with you. And the beautiful thing is they can get what they want from you.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Oh yes. Well, yeah. Because you're going to understand them even better because you already have that similar circumstance that you live in or that similar point of view and you can speak the same language.

Stacey Uhrig:

Absolutely.

 

Tagging People in Content to Connect The Dots

 

Gretchen Hernandez:

One of the things that I noticed about your posts over the years is that you'll tag many people, as you're telling your worry about, you know, what was happening that day or the inspiration you were having or flowers that would show up or earrings, you would always tag the people. And oftentimes you'd have multiple people tagged in your story. I always loved being tagged in your story. I know you've done that recently to me too. And, and it was about food and I was like, huh, but can you tell me why you do that?

Stacey Uhrig:

Why not? Right.

Gretchen Hernandez:

It's great answer!

Stacey Uhrig:

I guess there's a number of reasons why. Number one, I like to make my posts very conversational. I've seen myself over the years, what I've always called a dot connector and I'll give you an example. I joined a CSA, right. A community sponsored farm 10 years ago. And I just absolutely fell in love with it. And I told everybody about it. I joined them the first year that they were in business. And this couple has since moved to Georgia where they can actually farm more times throughout the year. Cause I'm in the Northeast. But, they would say to me, oh my God, like literally half of our half of our subscription base comes from your referral. And I'm like, but when I see something that I love, I'm very happy to share it.

Stacey Uhrig:

And then I would be at a local restaurant and be like, Hey, did you know about this local farm? They have the best eggs or they have the best strawberries or they have the best, whatever. Like I don't see or harm in sharing the wealth and spreading the love, number one. And if I found something I've loved, nothing makes me have happier than that person prospering because I've been able to simply connect the dot that that's abundance.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Absolutely.

Stacey Uhrig:

But at the same time, I love connecting people I think. And I'm a big Brené Brown reader and a big Brené Brown lover. That human connection is the ultimate of all important things in life. And so I did do this recent post where I was talking about an egg sandwich and I did this whole post and it was kinda a, it was a convoluted post in the sense I was talking about how excited I was to add gluten back into my diet.

Stacey Uhrig:

And I was eating the sandwich to get ready for all of this stuff that I was gonna be doing throughout the day. An RTT session, our talk today. And I tagged you in that. Well, what if somebody, first of all, goes over to your site and sees, wow. Gretchen could be a really good fit for me. I love to dot connect that way.

Stacey Uhrig:

But it's just also a great way. Maybe my post lands on your Facebook feed and that person's interested in the fact that I talked about how I had an autoimmune and I used to cut dairy and gluten out and now I've put it back in. And maybe they're thinking about it and maybe that connects with them. Now I'm spreading my word out a little bit further because maybe it'll end up on your feed. So it's just, that's a part of kind of that holistic approach. I don't necessarily do it to gain more people to follow me, but it's a natural fallout from that. If you will.

Gretchen Hernandez:

And I wanna, I wanna share something. When you tagged me in that this morning, within about 10 minutes, I had a new Instagram follower.

Stacey Uhrig:

So funny!

 

Generating Social Media Referrals

 

Gretchen Hernandez:

Really? Okay. So, and, and I know that she came from your audience and I thought, wow. So it's like, what a gift, what a nice thing to do. And we can do that, is tag each other and help each other to reach all of the, the different people who might be interested in what we offer.

Stacey Uhrig:

There's no question about it. And you know, it's really interesting. I have other friends that are entrepreneurial in spirit. You know, maybe they have a side gig with another product.

Stacey Uhrig:

I have one friend that's done a beautiful job of building a secondary business on selling products that are made by women from third-world countries. And she supports them by purchasing their products and then reselling them. Right? So scarves, hats, bags, jewelry, and I love the jewelry. And I love it because it's meaningful to me because I know somebody's hands made it. It wasn't manufactured in a warehouse, but it's also meaningful because I'm having an impact on somebody's life. Twofold. So I'm always happy to tag her on that kind of stuff. And, and she gets a lot of business from stuff like that. You know, people will message me and be like, tell me how to get that necklace. Tell me how to get that earring. I'm not doing that because I'm expecting my girlfriend to turn around and send me business ever. I'm doing it because I love it. And why keep it to myself?

Gretchen Hernandez:

Yeah. I love that. It comes from that heart-centered place. I've always loved to support small businesses. After black Friday, there's usually small business Saturday and it was like years back when, like I first took notice of that. I thought, you know what? I want to do this more frequently. I don't want this to just be one day a year. Yeah.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Small businesses, how they do best is by people deciding that they want to help them. You know, and obviously their goods, the stuff that they're selling is really good too. So I would rather go out of my, a way to go to a small business and invest in them and to promote them then to go to the big box stuff. It's like, yes, it's super easy and convenient and low cost, but the small business is so much better. And you get to stop and talk with people.

Stacey Uhrig:

Yeah. 100%

Gretchen Hernandez:

And that goes back to that relationship stuff. You can build up those relationships.

Stacey Uhrig:

It's all about the connection. And you know, here's the other thing that I'm thinking, you know, as a coach and somebody that provides services, the best business you can get is a business from a referral. So when we're talking data and we're talking numbers and closing percentage, my closing percentage on somebody that has come to me by way of referral is quite high.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Yes. Right.

Stacey Uhrig:

If I can help somebody get a referral, I know karmically more likely to come back. And so I'm also really big believer on what you put out, you get back. And what you believe you receive. And I believe wholeheartedly that I can build my mindset practice on referral. And so all of these other marketing tactics, I'll say, that go into the funnels and the free offers and the launches, and the workshops, and the lead gens, and the lead magnets, and all these things.

Stacey Uhrig:

Even though I've done them all for years and years and years. I understand how they work. I understand why they work. I have no desire to play that hustle. And I'm not gonna do it. I know that if I can get to 10 people in three months and gain 10 new clients in three months, that that is going to pay forward another 10 over another three to six months.

Stacey Uhrig:

Because if the relationship is good enough and the person's getting the results that want, they can't help but talk about how their life has transformed. And if they're talking about it, the likelihood that somebody else comes to me from that is very high. And the likelihood that they close is very high, because what they want is peace. And it's so hard to get. So if they can see a friend gaining it, I've literally had people come to me and be like, I want what you gave to her.

Stacey Uhrig:

I'm like, well, I didn't give her anything. She did it for herself. Right. She listened. And she followed what I told her. So if people are coming to me because they're seeking peace and they receive that, they're going to scream it from the mountain tops. And they do. So, it's not uncommon that I work with someone that has a major breakthrough. And then the next week, or next two weeks, I just get 2, 3, 4 new people on my calendar and I don't know who they are.

Stacey Uhrig:

And then I can, I see, oh, I was referred to by X or Y or Z. And here's what my presenting issue is. And I'm like okay. I've got you. I want more of what she had. No problem. So that's my job. I don't wanna get hooked up into, you have to get X number of followers and you need to have X number of reels and you need to have X number of this and X number of that.

Stacey Uhrig:

I am going to causically and karmically put my gift out to the world, touch as many different people as I can in as many different ways as I can, and truly believe with abundance that it will come back to me. Because I know that I'm following my purpose.

 

Feminine Energy and Masculine Energy

Stacey Uhrig:

This is the difference between following feminine energy and masculine energy. Masculine energy is all about data points and all about the numbers and all about how much money you can make and how you can make it. Female energy is I'm gonna put it out and I know it's gonna come back. It's the nurturing.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Yeah. I've never really heard it categorized that way as male and female. But nurturing like that, definitely with me. Although I am a numbers person, so I was like, huh? Interesting mix of them.

Stacey Uhrig:

I am too! I'm a little androgynous right? We were talking about that earlier, but like I am that way. I am in the middle because I do have that part of my brain that likes the numbers because it's exciting and it's fun. And I like to use that part of my brain, but I don't do it for the numbers. If that makes sense. I don't do it.

Gretchen Hernandez:

I get it. Can you describe it more?

Stacey Uhrig:

Yeah. So I don't start a new year. Like somebody have in the past few weeks with a business plan and a modeled structure in Excel of this is the end number, and this is how I'm gonna do it. And I model it all out. Remember I owned a brick and mortar consulting firm from 1997 until 2012. So I've seen more spreadsheets and more models than you can shake a stick at. I know how to do them. I am very, very skilled at creating projection models in Excel, and I'm good at it, but I have no desire to do it.

Stacey Uhrig:

My goal is to challenge myself and really is just see how many lives I can touch. And I know that if I can focus on it that way, all the other stuff will trickle in. The numbers game on the models gives you this false sense of control because you think you have all of the parameters in place, but people don't take into consideration the parameters that I learned in my business, you couldn't have predicted.

Stacey Uhrig:

So while I was in business and I'm right outside of New York City, not only did we have the.com bust in 1998, '99, but just as we were pivoting, and shifting, and learning how to manage our business in the New York city space, the tech space in New York city, after that.com bust. And we finally caught our breath, then 9/11 happened. And you could not make a phone call to anybody in this tri-state area for months.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Oh my gosh, that had to be so crippling to a business.

Stacey Uhrig:

Very crippling to a business, but it's also crippling to the society. So then we learn how to navigate that and shift and shift and shift. And then that was 2001, seven years later, we're now 2006, 2007 best years ever. I mean, we really, we really came out of the ashes, the rising Phoenix, and rose way above the challenge and had our most profitable years and gained 10 to 12,000 square feet and, you know, 40 more employees.

Stacey Uhrig:

So here I am at, you know, 16 to 18,000 square feet. I've got 60 employees, we are running hot and fast. And then the Lehman Brothers crash happens and it literally demised my business.

Stacey Uhrig:

And so I've learned you can have all these models and they all look great. Trust me that 2002 to 2007, I was like, okay, if we can model exactly what we just did and add growth structures to it, 2012 is gonna look incredibly good. I could have never predicted the mortgage crisis that, you know, the bust that happened at Lehman Brothers, that we would have been such collateral damage from that.

Stacey Uhrig:

By 2012, my business was closed because of it. And so my point is, is you can model the shit outta something, but you cannot predict these other factors. And so what I really learned from that is be less destination focused, more journey focus.

Stacey Uhrig:

Enjoy what you have going on in the moment, enjoy the wins of the day. Don't be so focused on what's at the end of the spreadsheet, but what's happening right now. What wins did you have today? What wins did you have this week? This month? Come to it from a place to, this is what I got out of it versus this is not working out because it's not fitting the model perfectly.

Stacey Uhrig:

You can get so hung up as an entrepreneur in that minutia detail. That I just swore I never would again.

 

Remembering the Details of Relationships

 

Gretchen Hernandez:

Yeah. So speaking of minutia detail, cause I'm gonna ask you about this just because when you're forming relationships with people and you're having those different dialogues and understanding the things that are important to them, the things that you have in common, there's so many little details about every single person. And as you start to know more and more people, how do you keep track of all of it? How do you not forget these important details about each person?

Stacey Uhrig:

Because it's like when you start a conversation with someone you're able to pick up as if you were just having a deep conversation with them the day before you remember all of the things, how do you do that?

Stacey Uhrig:

So I will be very honest and saying about incredibly good memory. So that's really helpful. And I'm really good at keeping a long running list of not just clients but prospects. And I don't mean prospecting in like a ABC kinda way, like always be calling, kind of way.

Stacey Uhrig:

It's just morphs anyone that's ever expressed interest and or someone that I can seek might be able to benefit from the service that I have. In prior years, I have always had some sort of contact management system. So some sort of CRM really, and there's so many good ones out there. I have not implemented that for my life coach business. However, I'm sure that I will. And that's really the ease of it.

Stacey Uhrig:

If you can find a good CRM that you can basically afford within your business structure, that allows you to at very minimum, just keep contact information and notes. All the way to having a CRM system, if your business gets big enough, and you're looking for, you know, bigger numbers where you can automate. I do have a coaching platform that I use and that coaching platform, I have all of my discovery calls go through that coaching platform. So it does bring those people in. And it does allow me to take notes and I can refer to that.

Stacey Uhrig:

But I am a systems person that's that is the masculine energy. So I'm all about systems. I think that that's very, very important to have, but the person doesn't land into my system until they filled something out on my website. Usually, interest in a free discovery call.

Gretchen Hernandez:

So what type of details do you keep about people? Do? You said that you take notes, so those things that help you to remember so that you can have those good conversations with people?

Stacey Uhrig:

You know, as a life coach, people are coming to me with their life problems. And so I'm just gonna take really shorthand script, you know, whatever it is that's presenting. It's often very much an emotional challenge, a lack of self-confidence, a lack of self-worth anger management, coming out of a narcissistic relationship. Whatever it is that the person's going on, I'm just gonna take a quick note on it. And just whatever vibe I'm getting from them. However, they feel that they connect with me. I'm just gonna note it down, but really it's not that uncommon after a discovery call, that somebody's gonna wanna continue to move forward. And then I would just take whatever common notes I would take when working with a client.

Gretchen Hernandez:

There is one person that I learned from years ago. There was a leader in the biotech company that I was working at that was insanely popular with people. Like people really felt valued by this one leader. And, so I started to ask around like, what is it about him versus the other leaders? And they said, well, because he'll come by and he'll have conversations with us. And he'll ask us about our dog, or he'll remember about like, you know, little Jimmy went off to school for the first time yesterday or something. And he'll stop by, and he'll ask these things.

Gretchen Hernandez:

And the organization, he supported had a couple hundred people in it. And yet he would go and he'd go talk with these different people and he'd remember these details. And so I learned that he was taking notes. He would go, and he'd talk to people. And as he's walking away, he's taking some of those notes about what was happening in their life. Even though it might not seem relevant for the business because you know, we're looking at processes and fixing things and making medicine and you know, all of the things, he knew that by developing those relationships, that it keeps everybody together and engaged.

Stacey Uhrig:

But don't you understand that is relationship marketing.Here's the reality. You know, they say that when women come to me, when I was really still working, my network marketing business. Women would come to me and say, well, I'm just a mom. I don't really have any skills. And I'm like, really? You're like the biggest persuader of all time.

Stacey Uhrig:

Like you get your kids out the door, you get them to eat what it is you need them to eat. Like there's nothing harder than raising a small human with their own desire and motivations and you get them to do what it is that you want them to do. So when you're a project manager, division head, like you were just describing, he has things that he needs to get done.

Stacey Uhrig:

And the fact that he learned very quickly and it was probably very natural for him to do it, that a big way of getting things done is people being productive. And the most productive people are the ones that are most valued. And the ones that are most valued are the ones that feel seen and important. That's the name of the game.

Stacey Uhrig:

And one of the things that I've really enjoyed about this particular business that I've started as a life coach is that I often hear from people I finally feel seen and heard. And that is powerful. It really is so impactful. Because I know as someone who specializes in trauma, that that is a traumatic thing for people when they're not seen and they're not heard and they're not valued.

Stacey Uhrig:

And to so finally find themselves in the safe space where that's, what's screaming at them like, oh my gosh, she sees me, she gets me. She hears me. I finally feel heard. And what I'm saying has value. Now they can ease into it and they can be productive. And in this case, instead of me trying to hit a number in a business, the case is them getting to where they wanna be, which is their own internal piece.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Absolutely. I experienced that with the very first coach that I hired when I started my business journey was a brand therapist named Melissa Bolton. And she was all about being an authentic brand.

Stacey Uhrig:

What she gave was the biggest gift to me, which was her time. So during our coaching sessions, it wasn't just about the brand. She was helping me to be heard and seen, and she was giving me the opportunity to talk. And some of our sessions would go even three hours long. And I thought, okay, what kind of brand coach does this? But that's why she's branded as a brand therapist. And I think there's something about that transition into entrepreneurship is that you've never had that chance to really talk about stuff. And she gave me that gift of feeling valued and feeling heard and seen, and it made all the difference in the world.

Stacey Uhrig:

Of course it did because now all of a sudden you're able to really fully express yourself and your ideas and what it is you wanna do. And she's listening and validating what you're saying. And you're like, okay, good. I'm on the right track. I'm not gonna question myself. And you really need that as an entrepreneur. To know that you are on the right track. Because that's the fuel that you need to keep going.

 

How Much Time Does Relationship Marketing Take?

 

Gretchen Hernandez:

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think as we're reaching out and we're sharing our stories and we're remembering the different people that we're meeting along the way and remembering some of those details and especially like that magic that you do of going back and tagging people, it helps them to know that they're cared about. That you remember them, that you're thinking about them and they, they wanna stay connected with you too as a result. It's a pretty magical thing. So how much time would you say you spend each week with doing this type of marketing?

Stacey Uhrig:

I make sure I show up every day, but I will say that if I don't feel it, I'm not going to fake it.

Gretchen Hernandez:

That is such a great policy.

Stacey Uhrig:

Yeah. I cause you just can't. If you're really, really being authentic and you're having a hard time getting out of bed that day, just because something's going on or you've showered and you've gotten ready, but you're not just really feeling your best self. I may or may not show up because I just, there's nothing to really show today. Like I'm here and I'm happy and I'm grateful, but I might just wanna be laying on the couch and studying and not really people-ing.

Gretchen Hernandez:

I like that. Not really people-ing. That's a good way to put it.

Stacey Uhrig:

And I feel like I kind of need to people. When I'm doing my stories and I'm on Instagram, which I do on a very consistent basis. I feel like I'm talking to somebody on a screen, not me. And so if I don't feel like I can people that day, I'm going to give myself the grace. Because I'm going to show up in my best authentic self on the days that I can people.

Stacey Uhrig:

Okay. So I'll have a calendar. I use, I use an app called Later. And Later is a social media scheduling app, but I use it more as like a repository. I'm not fixated to it. So if I'm coming up with something, I might go into what I've prescheduled then I might move things around to fit throughout the day. Or I might have been inspired to post something that's totally outside of Later. And then I just know that when the next post comes up the next day it's there.

Stacey Uhrig:

But I kind of use it as like an idea base or like a trigger base. Things that I could be sharing that I think would be of useful to people when it comes you. What I'll do is usually once a week, you know, I love, you're seeing me and people can't see me. I'm sitting in front of my still up Christmas tree with a nice blanket and a cup of coffee. And I love this space in my house. And so what I'll do is some days I'll be like, I'm giving myself an hour to just sit on my couch and I'm going to spend an hour pre-scheduling out Later.

Stacey Uhrig:

So if I spend an hour doing that, I may be getting two weeks worth of stuff in there. And then I've got it done. Okay. So I make sure I'm posting and I'm connecting if you will, with people every single day on social media. Whether it's a post, whether it's showing up on lives. Or doing an Instagram story, which then I'll push over to Facebook stories, not big in reels. And that's mainly because I don't feel like it's authentic to me. So I don't do them.

Stacey Uhrig:

I hear the buzz that they're, you know, what I need to be doing and I need to be doing for a day. And I look at it all the time and I'm like, if I stand up and start pointing to things and I'm doing music and I'm dancing, that's not me. Yeah. I don't wanna do it, not me either. And so again, scarcity versus abundance, I'm like, is the world really gonna crumble? Is my business really not gonna get to where I think it could be someday, because I chose not to do reels?

Stacey Uhrig:

No. Business is gonna get to where it needs to be because I did a good job with my business and people are coming to me by word of mouth.

Gretchen Hernandez:

That's right. I want to just like clap for you right now. Cause yes. That. Because you are honest with who you are, confident in your authentic self and yeah. The people that are meant to work with you, they're gonna come. It's just, it's inevitable. It's guaranteed.

Stacey Uhrig:

And it's funny because you know, the first week of January, it was interesting. I had a full schedule and then all of a sudden I didn't have a full schedule. Cause I had a lot of clients that either got the flu or got COVID or were taking care of somebody in their house that had flu COVID. And so that first like seven to 10 days of January was really quiet.

Stacey Uhrig:

And I was like, oh shit. Maybe the surrender to the universe cap is not gonna work for my business, but I've had to keep saying to myself. It's actually okay, when things are quiet, what are other things that you can be doing? And I have other things I'm trying to add into my practice before my next certification kicks in, which is tapping, which I know we were gonna talk about.

Stacey Uhrig:

And so I was like, you know what, let me grab that book, let me grab that certification course. Let me do this while things are quiet. Because I'm confident that the universe is gonna bring me who I'm meant to have, when I'm meant to have them .and my calendar is gonna fill up. And then I'm gonna wish I had used the time better.

Stacey Uhrig:

So instead of being freaked out about the scarcity of not having as many calls as I think is deemed good on my calendar for the week, I eased into it and said, the universe is opening it up for me to do the other things I know I'd like to do to make my practice even better. And I'm gonna use that time doing it that way.

Gretchen Hernandez:

I can add in some extra evidence from my side, I did something similar. I'm still doing it right now actually. I have actually pulled back from doing a lot of the posting that I usually would do because I wanted to focus my mental bandwidth on creating some of these new business courses going into my membership.

Gretchen Hernandez:

And I had to make that conscious choice that I was going to take my time away from that and put it onto these courses. Like it was a gift to myself to allow myself that mental bandwidth focus. And I had to just believe that clients were gonna come anyway. I was already fully booked, but some of my clients, it was like they were finishing up. And then I also made the choice. I'd open up like a couple more spots for 2022. And I wasn't doing any extra posting other than to post this podcast on Fridays. That's it.

Gretchen Hernandez:

And then the rest, it was just like personal posts. Like when I felt like it. And all of a sudden I had two more clients book and pay in full recently, like within a two-week period without me doing anything. And it was because I had formed relationships. So one was someone that I had met a few months ago. We formed a relationship when we met in person. Another one, it was referral from someone that I had a relationship with at another point.

Stacey Uhrig:

It's what you're talking about. When you believe in it, when you believe that the universe is going to bring you, the people that need you, it happens.

Stacey Uhrig:

Absolutely. When you put it out, the universe will conspire. It's, you know, the Alchemist put out what you want. Everything falls into place. I do believe it, but it does require surrender. And as we know, a lot of business, people are wrapped up in the numbers. And they are wrapped up in the ability to control an outcome. It renders really the exact opposite of that. It is really recognizing that you actually have no control and that you are going to put into action all the things that you need to do to create what it is that you want to attract people to.

 

Stacey's Coaching Toolbox

 

Gretchen Hernandez:

And that is a great segue into me talking with you about your certifications. Because you are creating your skillset, all of your tool chest of everything that you know is going to help your clients. So last time when we got together, you were going through the certification program for RTT, and you are now officially certified. And so I want you to just touch on that and then talk about what is happening now.

Stacey Uhrig:

Okay. So yeah, when we spoke the last time, I was just towards the end of a program, it took about six months to complete with a modality called Rapid Transformational Therapy. And Rapid Transformational Therapy is something I added into my coaching practice because I just had so many people coming to me to work on the symptoms that they had. But I did not have the skillset to get to the root. Right?

Stacey Uhrig:

We can symptom ourselves to death. I'm anxious, I'm stressed, I'm overwhelmed, I'm stuck, I'm sick. I'm this, I'm that. And we can talk it out and I can give you a lot of tools on how to mitigate the symptom, right? Just like a doctor would give you something to mitigate a symptom of a medical issue. But I really wanted to get to the root cause of why you have it to begin with, right?

Stacey Uhrig:

Because my feeling is if we can find the root extract, it, analyze it, investigate it, see if we still want it, or if we wanna get rid of it, then the symptom can resolve itself. And so I found this methodology called Rapid Transformational Therapy.

Stacey Uhrig:

Marissa Peer, who was originally out of London and she's a psychotherapist and coach, and she developed this methodology over a 30-year practice that she's had. And it's based in hypnosis in the sense that the person is under hypnosis during the session. But in the session, you're also using modalities of cognitive behavioral therapy, and parts therapy, and neurolinguistic programming, and honestly, a lot of intuition. And so I decided that I would get skilled in that.

Stacey Uhrig:

And that has been a very smart move because being able to get to the root cause of an issue gives people a lot of understanding of themselves. And that understanding helps resolve the bigger symptoms.

Stacey Uhrig:

And it's been a beautiful, beautiful thing to add-in. So that has been added and I am officially certified as both a Rapid Transformational Therapy Practitioner as well as a certified Hypnotherapist.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Congratulations!!

Stacey Uhrig:

Thank you. And I love it. I just, I love it. There hasn't been a session I haven't done where like I've been in tears for someone cause I was like, oh my God, they connected with that. They got it. Right. I am in the process right now of really gaining a deeper understanding of something called the EFT. Which is another tool that I want in my toolbox from my clients. It really focuses to me on the physical symptom of things like anxiety, stress, anger, the emotions that really show physically.

Stacey Uhrig:

EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It's also known as tapping. And what I love about it, and it's so funny, because like I said, when we put ourselves out there and we do the work, it will come to you.

Stacey Uhrig:

I just really started digging into it just at the end of the Christmas holiday. And this week I used it on two different clients and both of them were like, what the hell was that? And can we get more of it? So, and I'm not even that skilled in it. It's just, I know, understand the fundamentals of it enough for it to make an impact.

Stacey Uhrig:

My goal right now is to get skilled in that. But the idea is that we all have Meridian pathways in our body and there's blockages. And so a lot of times when we have these toxic emotions that are not really serving us in a positive manner in our body, there are ways to release it.

Stacey Uhrig:

And sometimes I have a client that I just, I use the term hot, you know, they just come in and they're hot. You know, they're either hot with anger or hot with stuckness or hot with frustration, sadness, anxiety, stress, overwhelm, whatever it is. And we really need to extract it and just release it. So then we can do the work for the session that we have.

Stacey Uhrig:

And the two people I did it with this week, they were like, that was awesome. I know. Right. So I'm really glad that I'm adding that tool into my toolbox that I can pull out when I see the need for it.

Stacey Uhrig:

But I will be going through another certification track starting in February that I think will really be the thing that will fill my toolbox to the fullest. And that is a certification in a Trauma Recovery Coach. Because as a coach, I really do truly believe that all of the stuckness comes from a level of trauma. And so my goal is to not just coach on trauma, but educate. Because I don't think people understand what trauma is or how it shows up in our lives as a child.

Stacey Uhrig:

And they don't understand how shows up in adulthood. And I think if people understood it, they wouldn't be asking why so much about why they're stuck. They would be asking, how do I get unsuck? And there are so many ways to do it, but there are so many issues that people are walking with that I see as a delayed trauma response from something that happened in childhood.

Stacey Uhrig:

And it doesn't have to be a big T where you've been violated in some shape or way it can be simply as just feeling unsafe or insecure or unseen or insignificant or unimportant. And the body still sees that as a threat and the mind still sees it as a threat. A threat is a threat is a threat and your body will conform to that. So my goal is to add that extra layer of deep understanding. So when my clients come to me, I have a full, full toolkit on how I can help them.

Gretchen Hernandez:

This is why you're such an amazing person, because you're always thinking about other people. All of these tools, you're gonna be able to help so many people because you've added all of these. Like you went out, you investigated what is available because you had this idea. You wanna help people to not suffer. You wanna help them to heal and to have like a vibrant life, a peaceful life. So you went out and you figured out, okay, what do I need to know? So that I can be well equipped to do this.

Gretchen Hernandez:

And I just wanna celebrate you. You're just such a wonderful person for that.

Stacey Uhrig:

Thank you.

Gretchen Hernandez:

So Stacey, what are some of the ways you're gonna be working with people now? What's available now, if people wanna work with you.

Stacey Uhrig:

So basically, what's available now is coaching. And it kind of falls under two umbrellas, if you were two buckets .and I have it literally on my website this way. You can sign up for straight-up coaching. And that's what it says. It's straight-up coaching. And it is at the conscious level. That's the best way for me to describe it. And my coaching really involves listening to what you're saying. Very often, listening to what you're not saying, but picking it up with intuition. And then giving you a variety of tools on how to navigate life, given your current challenge. Okay.

Stacey Uhrig:

And so my people are always having homework things to read, listen, to watch, things to consider before they come back for the next session. And I do that in blocks of four, eight or 12 sessions at a time.

Stacey Uhrig:

If somebody is ready to extract the ball, the root, the core of why they continue to stay stuck. I have what I call my get flipped intensive 30-day experience. And what that involves is the RTT team. So it is kind of a five piece program over a course of - it's supposed to be 30 days, but with scheduling, it could be upwards of 40 to 45 days. And it is a clarity call that lasts about an hour and a half. Where we really get clear on what it is that you're looking to resolve in your life. One major, very clear thing.

Stacey Uhrig:

And then we do a two-hour RTT session the following week, and then seven days after that, you have a conscious level coaching call, where now we're gonna talk about the things it came out in the session. Triggers that would've pulled you backwards in the past. How are you moving forward? How are you installing this new belief system, which you'll have received a recording from me after the RTT session to help install that.

Stacey Uhrig:

And then after that 14 days after that first coaching call, you have a second coaching call. And that's really kind of a conclusion call. A lot of people say I'm not ready to be done. And then at that point, they either just go into straight up conscious coaching or they do another get flipped 30 days and they work on something else or they continue to work the same issue. They wanna dig deeper. And that's really how I offer what I do. I try to keep it really simple.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Simple's always the best. Let's just get you fixed. Oh, I love it..

Stacey Uhrig:

Let's just get you fixed

Gretchen Hernandez:

And so how can they get in contact with you?

Stacey Uhrig:

It's really easy. They can just go to my website, which is www.flipyourmindset.com. And I offer a free discovery call to anybody that would like one, and you can find it right there on my homepage. And if they really just wanna dabble and just follow, they can follow me along on those two platforms we talked about Instagram and Facebook. And they're just both my name. I try to keep it simple, which is Stacey Uhrig. And as follow me, you'll see me. I'm probably wearing a hat. I like to wear hats. I call myself a hat-wearing, trauma geek. People can find the hat-wearing, trauma geek on Instagram and Facebook.

Gretchen Hernandez:

Oh, that is so fun. All right, Stacey, I really appreciate you taking the time and talking a bit off topic, you know, as far as getting into the relationship marketing stuff, I think it's something that makes it a lot easier for people. It's like, you can just be yourself, just relax, get to know people. And so I really appreciate that you came, you shared all of that. And all of the new tools that you're adding are just, oh, so heartwarming. I'm just so proud of you and I can't wait for more people to get in contact with you. And I'm so grateful to have you in my life. Thank you so much for coming on.

Stacey Uhrig:

Thank you.

 

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 One of the reasons I know Stacey will be incredibly successful is that she is always thinking about her clients first. If you find your thoughts consumed with how to make a sale, you've probably slipped into scarcity mindset. Practice getting into an abundant mindset. I mean, people out there need you. They are searching for you. This is true. We know this.

 

If you don't put yourself out there, they're never gonna be able to find you. You want help getting comfortable with being visible and finding your own style. You may want to try a hypnotherapy session with Stacey. She doesn't tell you what to do. She helps you find it from your unconscious mind. She helped me to get unstuck with my issues in less than a month. It was incredibly effective and even better her values align with yours. All of Stacey's contact information can easily be found on the page for this podcast episode.

 

Additionally, if you want to learn more about relationship marketing, I've also included the links for the two books. I mentioned at the beginning, the Go Giver by Bob Berg and the Prosperous Coach by Steve Chandler. All right. I hope that you find the marketing style that works for you. Your people need you. You have to get out there and let them find you. I believe in you. You've got this. All right. My friends have a great week

 

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Thank you for listening to My Freedom Grove Podcast. I can't wait to work with you directly. I'll help you to be your authentic self, to have amazing relationships, and to live your purpose. I invite you to check out Unshakable Men and Unshakable Women. The unshakable programs will give you all of the tools, coaching, and the community to help you rise in life, relationships, and business. To learn more, go to my MyFreedomGrove.com/workwithme. I can't wait to see you there.