You are listening to My Freedom Grove podcast with Gretchen Hernandez, episode 171.

Welcome to My Freedom Grove Podcast, your calm space for practical help to get your dream business up and running while being authentically you and taking care of your mental health. I'm your host, Gretchen Hernandez. I'm so glad you're here!

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Hi, My Strong Friends. 

 

Hey, Today's episode is very, very special. I have encountered many people recently that are stopping themselves from going forward. And they all have those same thoughts. 

 

The thought is:

 

What if it doesn't work? What if something goes bad? 

 

Right. So those are two thoughts. And I wanted to address those today. Because there's so much that's available and possible in our lives. But if those two thoughts keep popping up, there's no way we're going to be able to move forward. 

 

This happens in business as well as life. In fact, these thoughts even popped up recently, with my mom going in for hip surgery, and she ended up canceling at the last minute, but she's gonna reschedule.

 

But this also popped up for me as I was doing this Small Business Expo last week. All of the things coming up to it, my thought kept coming back to but, What if it doesn't work? 

 

DEFINING “IT” WHEN YOU HAVE THOUGHTS OF FAILURE

 

And it's important to define what it means anytime that you come up with this statement of:

 

What if it doesn't work? 

 

So for me, the IT part that I was worried about was having all of the materials that I needed to have at the table that I had sponsored at this show. 

 

For other people, when they say what if it doesn't work, they're referring to their whole business? 

 

What if it doesn't work? 

 

They might even be referring to a specific product, something new that they're starting for the first time? 

 

What if it doesn't work? 

 

Or what if it's a piece of their sales funnel, or some emails or social media posts that they're creating? 

 

What if it doesn't work? 

WHEN DOES THIS THOUGHT CREEP IN? 

 

So today, I want to go over a lot of different ways that we can handle trying to resolve this thought of What if it doesn't work? I'm gonna go over three different times. 

• before you even start-the thought is kind of stopping you in your tracks
• when you're in flight-you're doing the thing, but all of a sudden, your brain gets in the way
• times where something didn't work- after the thing ends, and you found out that it didn't work

 

We're going to talk about that too, because I've encountered people that are in all of these different stages. And it can definitely have an impact on your business. But more importantly, it has a significant impact on your mental health. And especially that very last one of what if afterwards, when it didn't work, and what happens there. 

 

So let's jump into this.

 

ARE YOUR THOUGHTS OF FAILURE STOPPING YOU BEFORE YOU START?

 

First one I want to address is before you even start something, so you're having that thought, What if it doesn't work?. And it usually comes down to two additional thoughts after it. It's one or the other. 

 

So one is fear that it really won't work. And then the other one is fear that it will work. 

 

So let's dive in first on fear that it won't work. What is the problem with it not working? And so oftentimes, it's that we're worried about the feelings we're going to feel when it doesn't work, we might feel embarrassment, we might feel some shame, we may be very judgmental towards ourselves. We might also be thinking about the wasted time and the effort and the money that went into it. There might also be disappointment. All of those. 

 

They're mainly feelings. Some of them are decision points on how much time, how much effort, how much money, are you willing to invest in something before you pull the plug and that amount of money. Deciding that ahead of time will be very important.

 

Because just like if you're going into a casino, if you go in thinking, Okay, I'm gonna win money, there's a possibility I could win money. But we also know there's a possibility that you won't win money when you come up with your limit ahead of time, because you know that it'll be fun. There'll be entertainment, 

 

Just like with creating a business. There's going to be a lot of growth, there's going to be a lot of things that you improve about yourself, even personal obstacles that you work through. All of that can be a good thing. 

 

How much money are you willing to put into it? And what is your limit? Right? Because if you hit your limit, and you haven't had that prize, you didn't win the slot machine, you can walk away thinking, Okay, I'm satisfied, I didn't win.I only spent my limit, I have no regrets. And then you walk away. If you don't set that limit, then you might find yourself over spending as you're chasing, trying to win. 

 

Just like when you're in front of a slot machine. It's like, oh, but I was so close, okay, we maybe a little bit more, maybe a little bit more. And you get caught up in all of that. And then you get to a point where you start regretting how much you've put into it. Come up with those limits ahead of time, so that you know when to step away, and that you still feel good about it. 

 

Now, the rest of the embarrassment, shame, disappointment, these are feelings that you're having. Now, thoughts are creating those feelings. So at any time, you can challenge those thoughts, so that you don't have those feelings, you don't have to feel embarrassment, you don't have to feel judgment, you don't have to feel disappointment. There are other ways of thinking about it, so that you can feel a different way. 

 

However, it's also possible that you can just process those emotions. So when I say process, the emotions of talking about a vibration that's happening in your body, even disappointment, disappointment, if you've ever paid attention to it, it has a specific vibration in your body. And you can describe what that is, where you're feeling it, and how long it lasts. 

 

Now, if you try to resist those feelings, they get bigger, they're more intense, and they last longer. But if you just decide, yeah, ‘I'm feeling disappointment right now’. And that's okay, I'm gonna go allow myself to feel disappointment. And you just let it happen. You might be surprised at how fast it passes over. 

 

I did an experiment one time, although it wasn't a business one, it was a personal one where I felt disappointment. And instead of trying to fix the situation, or trying to change my thoughts about it, I decided to just allow myself to feel disappointment. 

 

And I discovered that I only had to feel that vibration in my body for an hour, and then it was over. And then it was like the sun came out, I was able to enjoy the rest of my day and move on. And even looking back at that event that didn't work out, now I have the opportunity to go to that event again. It's just I'm going to do it a little bit differently, so that it'll most likely work out this time. 

 

DOING YOUR RESEARCH CAN INCREASE YOUR CHANCE FOR SUCCESS

 

Another thing for business is that you can try to prevent some of that disappointment from coming. And this specifically, is about market and customer research. So oftentimes, when we're starting a brand new business, we have this great idea for a product or service. We think it's wonderful, we're excited about it, we can't wait to create it and get it out there in the world. And there's always that little nagging fear of Oh, but what if it doesn't work?. And it's quite possible. 

 

When we look at the statistics on entrepreneurship, it's actually not really in the favor of everything working out. Usually things don't, and I don't know the exact numbers off the top of my head. So I'm not going to share those. But that's where market and customer research comes in. You can increase your chances of success. 

 

By going out and doing that research ahead of time, you want to ensure that whatever it is you have is viable before you even start the process of creating it. So you're making sure that there really is an unmet need. How big is that unmet need? Is there a high desire for a solution? And are people willing to pay for it? 

 

Now I've had a couple clients where I help them to get through that market and customer research, where their end result was they found that the data didn't actually support that particular business idea. And it creates some disappointment. I mean, after all, this seemed great and exciting, and having to feel that disappointment sucks. 

 

But that disappointment is so much smaller than if they had gone forward with their idea without having done the research and then spent years investing themselves in creating a business that didn't actually have a market need, that didn't have a desire, or that people just weren't willing to pay for that product or service. So processing a smaller amount of disappointment, once processing through then going on to the next idea, same thing with market and customer research. 

 

And then once you find where there is an unmet need, and that they have a high desire, and they're willing to pay for it, everything's on, it's exciting, because not only are you creating it, you already have customers that are waiting for it. In fact, they're probably praying for it. And it's so much easier for your business to work, when that's the situation. 

 

The last piece that I want to bring up is about the judgment, their self-judgment and judgment by other people. We always fear hearing from other people. Oh, I told you. So I told you that wasn't a good idea. 

 

Okay, so if you've ever watched Brené Brown, she has a YouTube video, where she's talking about arena spectators versus the person who gets in the arena and is actually fighting the ball. It's very, very good. And I'll see if I can find the link and put that in the show notes for you. 

 

There are so many people that do not have the courage to actually go into the arena and try this right you are there being an entrepreneur getting in the arena and trying it. The arena spectators up there in the seats, those are the ones that they're feeling great because they can judge you. And they can say yes or no. 

 

And when you win, they are going to be cheering for you. And that feels great for them. And when you don't win, there will be some that are there saying, Hey, I told you so. And that makes them feel good too. Because it just, you know, makes them feel like they were right. But there's also going to be some of those spectators whose hearts are broken, they wanted to see you have success. 

 

But let's first just talk about those arena spectators that are judging you. How many are actually judging you? Do they know the full story? And do you even care? Do you care what they have to say, because this is your life, it doesn't have to be their life. 

 

And in fact, I got some feedback from an old coworker. Sometime in the last year, I had someone that was kind of the naysayer as I was starting my business four years ago. And then after things are working out in my business, or getting some feedback that that person was actually a little bit jealous, because I was chasing after the dream that they always wanted to have. But they just were not quite courageous. 

 

And so just a little bit of backstory. In case, this is one of the first episodes that you're listening to. When I decided to start my business four years ago, I did it in a very big way. I bought a house overlooking the ocean, I sold my house so that I would have some money to not only pay that mortgage, but to have living expenses for a while. And my husband and I both quit our jobs. And we moved out here, brought some kids with us. So we moved to a place and we had a mortgage and no jobs. And I was starting a business brand new from scratch. 

 

Okay, that's going all in in a big way. That takes a lot of courage. You think that I didn't have that thought of What if it doesn't work out? My husband certainly did. He brought it up a lot. I mean, that's a pretty scary thing to do. But in my brain, I didn't have that thought in my head: What if it doesn't work out? 

 

My thought was, This is going to work out, I just need to resolve all of the obstacles that get between here and there. And that's what I've been doing. And here I am four years later, still successfully in business and my business keeps growing year after year. 

 

And that's possible to you too. But if you decide to hold on to that thought of But what if it doesn't work?, you're never going to give yourself that chance. 

 

FEAR OF SUCCESS?

 

Now, the other flip side of this one before you start is that fear that it will work out. And that may not make a lot of sense to a lot of people, but I felt this one too. 

 

What if it does work out? 

 

So oftentimes, we have really big eyes, almost like at the buffet of all of the business stuff that we could do. We create a lot of ideas for the products and services that we can do. Oftentimes, if all of it worked out, it would be too much of a workload for any one person to do. We'd have to hire a whole bunch of help. Otherwise, we'd burn ourselves out or we might stumble and fall we might be making mistakes left and right. 

 

So, that fear is also real, but how you can work through that. One is to constrain what the outcome is. So if you're worried that it's going to be too big and overwhelming, then shoot for the part where when it's successful, it's the right size for the amount of hours that you have available, and for your skill set. 

 

If you're not wanting to hire employees right away or hire contractors, then make it so that whatever you're creating doesn't require that in our last episode, we talked about some automation and AI, that could be one way of doing it. If you're worried about having too many days taken out by your business, then create something where it's only going to be a few days, or even three or four hours in a day. 

 

You get to create your business, however it fits you. There are always creative business models to make all of that happen for you. 

 

So with getting started beforehand, when you're having those thoughts,  What if it doesn't work? Or Oh no, what if it does work?. 

Hopefully you can use some of this stuff in here: 

• feel your feelings
• always know that your thoughts are optional, you can challenge them at any time, 
• you're the one getting in the arena, only your thoughts are counting there
• you can constrain the outcome so that it is the right size for you

 

THOUGHTS OF FAILURE WHEN YOU’RE “IN FLIGHT”

 

Now let's talk about when you're actually in flight. 

 

So this means that you already have your business going, you already have some products and services going. But there's something about it that just feels off. And so sometimes this can be your intuition that's telling you that something's off. Or sometimes you're looking at your data, and your data is not where you want it to be. And you're thinking this isn't working. 

 

Okay. So again, that thought, it isn't working, we tend to use it as a blanket statement. And when we say it, we usually will just refer to our whole business, it's not working, like we should just throw it out in the trash and walk away. 

 

But here's the thing. rarely ever, is it the whole business that isn't working. Oftentimes, it's a specific process step that isn't working. So when we're looking at our process and laying it all out, first, are we following the same process every single time? And if so, and we don't like the result, then where in that process? Did it not work? And how do we know that it's not working? Are we using data? Or are we using intuition? 

 

And as much as I want to respect everybody's intuition, when the data is actually showing something is working. And your intuition is saying it's not, that could actually be a mindset obstacle, because data is data, it either is the right numbers or not the right numbers. 

 

But then as we're looking at those individual process steps, it could also be customer requirements. So maybe there was something that a customer has said to you or a couple of customers have said to you. And you're starting to see some things change. And like, wait a minute, this isn't exactly how I want this to be, you always have the ability to revise your product and service, because it's important to meet your customer requirements. 

 

Just because you put something together and your business requirements were met doesn't always mean that all of the customer requirements were met. And the opposite can be true. Also, you can be meeting all of your customers’ requirements, and they're delighted. But there's something about it that's not working for your business, figuring out what is the exact requirement. Where is it in that process step? And how is it not meeting your requirements will be a very good exercise. 

 

Oftentimes, entrepreneurs may not have even sat down to think about all of the requirements, because honestly, we can get pretty scrappy, and we just get up and we go without actually writing everything out and coming up with a plan. 

 

Now going back to looking at our process, to find where in the process, is it not working? I highly encourage you to use data. But also I want you to find the root cause of what's causing this to not work. So again, we may use our intuition and think that we know what it is. But really what is the root cause?

 

I have a couple of different Root Cause Fishbone tools that I use. You can Google a ‘Root Cause Fishbone Diagram’ so that you can see some examples that are out there. 

 

It's a way to help you to brainstorm what are all of the possible contributions to this defect in your process. And then from there, you find the top three that are most likely causing that defect, and then you're going to drill down to two to try to find the root cause of those specific things. 

 

Because when you can find the root cause, it might be a really, really simple solution that you can fix. And then once it's fixed, the whole thing fixes itself, the whole big problem, that's definitely worth some time and money and effort, because you'll get a really big return on investment of that, oftentimes, it's a small change that gives you that big outcome. 

 

MAYBE THE DATA SAYS IT’S NOT WORKING. NOW WHAT?

 

Now, let's talk about if you are in flight, and all of the data is showing that things are not working, and you've gone through all of the root causes. And whatever that root cause is, you get down to it, and either you decide it's not worth it, to try to fix that root cause, or it's just not possible to fix that root cause. 

 

Then you might be trained to make that decision, Should I pull the plug or not?. 

 

And so this may be for just a specific product and service, this might be on a sales funnel, this might be on your whole business. So you're trying to decide if it's time to pull the plug. Another one I'd like to throw in is Is this a time to pivot?. 

 

So oftentimes, you'll hear businesses have to pivot to keep staying relevant. So they may have had something that worked really, really well. And then something changed, and they had to pivot. 

 

And we saw that during the pandemic, when a lot of restaurants had to all of a sudden offer seating outside, so they had to pivot or they had to offer delivery services. 

 

Pivoting is not a bad thing. It's actually something that you can celebrate because you are doing what it takes to stay in business, to meet the changing customer requirements and environmental changes if there are them, so that you can stay in business, and you're meeting those needs in new ways. 

 

Now, if you do decide to pull the plug, this could be either on a specific product and service, this might be one customer segment that you're no longer going to help, it might be the processes that you're using, or it might just be the whole business itself. 

 

I want to encourage you to give yourself some time to process the grief or the disappointment of it. Because that grief is real, you put a lot of your heart and soul into creating this thing. And the fact that it didn't actually come to fruition and stay around for life. It hurts, it's almost like having a baby. And then the baby met a tragic end at some point. It hurts, it hurts really bad. So give yourself time to process that grief. 

 

I know when I made a pivot in my business about three years ago, I actually hired a grief coach to help me through it. Because my heart was breaking, there was a segment of my customer base, I wasn't going to support anymore, and it hurt. 

 

So allow yourself to process that grief or that disappointment. Also try to focus on the process and the data, it's so easy to start judging yourself and making it mean something about you. That's usually rarely ever the case, it's usually something about the process that didn't work.

 

Now something else to be aware of, you will have cheerleaders there are going to be people out there that are saying No, you can't give up. This is something so good. And so these could be your customers that do absolutely love that product. But there's just not enough of them in order to make this a viable product or service or business. This could also be a family member or friend who really believes in you and doesn't want you to give up.

 

Have a way that you can communicate with them. You can already anticipate that they're going to come up, they're gonna say this. What's the response that you can give them? And then also, you coming to the acceptance that Okay, yeah, I'm gonna close this. It just didn't work. It either worked or it didn't work, like just keeping those two statements can help you. 

 

So you get acceptance over it. And then you can figure out what you decommission out of the things that you have? Can you repurpose any of it? Or even better? How can you be innovative with it? 

 

And so this I've seen also, when I worked in corporate. We would have projects that we spent a lot of time and resources on to get a project going. And then partway through the project, even though everything's going great. The company decided to stop the project. And so oftentimes it was because they had something else come up that needed those same resources. And it was a higher priority than the project we were working on. And so they close down the project. 

 

Oh my Gosh, as being a project manager on some of these, and especially huge projects with a lot of people, it was heartbreaking to see our project not come to fruition, we're there to get results. But if someone all of a sudden says, Okay, nope, we're the decision makers, we're going to turn this off. There's nothing wrong with a project. It's just you can't complete it. That also kind of sucks. 

 

So you can turn that into innovation. Now that you have all of those resources, what can you do to innovate and create something even better? 

 

So if you're in flight, and you're thinking, What if this doesn't work?, then come up with:

 

• How do you know for sure that it's not working? 
• What data can you use? 
• Do you actually know the root cause? 
• How can you fix that root cause? 

 

And then if you do decide that you're going to pull the plug or pivot, give yourself space to process those emotions. And then how can you also look at repurposing or innovation? What has been freed up? 

 

“WHAT IF IT DOESN’T WORK?” BECOMES YOUR REALITY

 

Okay, our final section I want to get into is after something ends.

 

Okay, so your thought, What if it doesn't work?, it came to be your reality. It didn't work for whatever the reason was, and it could even be one of those where a project got pulled by somebody else. 

 

Know that you're going to have some negative feelings. And again, it could be that you're making it mean something about you. Some thoughts that you might have is 

I'm a failure.

 

I never figure anything out.

 

I keep making mistakes.

 

Things never go my way. 

 

All of those are optional thoughts. It doesn't mean that any of that is true. In fact, I've had to lead several post-mortem reviews. So post-mortem, refers to when a project is done. And so it could be a project of any scale, it could be a whole business, it could just be one product that was trying to get launched, and is now done. 

 

We do a whole assessment of what worked, what didn't work, what would we do differently next time. And sometimes we might find that there was some conflict between people. But most of the time, we're focused on the process, the planning, and the materials. 

 

Sometimes we had one vendor where we had good materials, and another vendor where we didn't have good materials, or there was a timing issue. All of that is important to know, because there's so many details in there that have nothing to do with you as a person, it's just there were lots of little pieces that didn't work out, doesn't mean that the next time you do it, that it won't work out. 

 

Because now you know all of the things to look out for, and to put other solutions in place to make sure that those parts work, too. And you had a whole bunch of stuff that did work. So you'll want to look at the process itself. 

 

If you're doing project management, or particular products or services or sales funnel, look at the process and look at the data. A bunch of that worked. So, which parts can you harvest out, and which parts are the ones that you're going to need to revise for next time? 

 

The final part on this I want you to really consider is mindset. 

 

Sometimes things in life are not going to work out. So what's your plan for when it doesn't work out? I want you to think about your mindset itself. How do you take care of your mental health? How do you create psychological safety for yourself? So that when things don't work out that it's still perfectly safe? 

 

In fact, it might be fun, or even relief, that something didn't work out. What are some of those thoughts that you can think on purpose that will help you to feel better? 

 

I know for me, thoughts, like:

I learned a lot. And now I'm not starting at zero next time.

 

I already know 60% of it, that does work, I'm going to do this so much better next time. 

 

I developed all of these different skill sets. Now I can do something I never even imagined because I'm developed this way. 

 

These are just some of them. There's a lot more that can come out of this. There can be a lot of surprises and delights that come out of something not working. And you can use those in your favor. 

 

So what are ways that you can think on purpose if something doesn't work out? And then having your safety or recovery plan for how would you recover after that if something didn't work out.

 

So now we're talking about the tangibles. So if you need to turn things off or get rid of equipment or if there's money that is now out of balance. How can you get it back in balance? Having those plans ahead of time helps you to have safety in case something doesn't work out. 

 

But here's the thing, everything can work out. 

As long as you're identifying what are the obstacles that are getting in the way, and you're taking the time to actually experiment to resolve those obstacles, you can absolutely make everything happen the way you want it to be, you do not have to live in fear, everything is possible. 

 

I CAN HELP YOU BRING YOUR VISION TO LIFE!

 

These are things that I like to help you with. So not only am I helping you to figure out how to go from your big vision, to all of the nitty-gritty details of how to get it done, but I'm there with you throughout helping you to get all of those pieces done to experiment. 

 

And when the unexpected happens, what to do about it, while staying calm and creating psychological safety for yourself. And then still making progress and moving forward. And I help you in two different ways. One is through the Unshakable Business Co-Lab. That is my month-to-month business mastermind membership. 

 

It has courses in there on how you can create your products and services, your sales funnels your schedules, manage your mind, and how to get fully booked with consultations with people that want to hear about your products and services, as well as twice weekly coaching with me. So you'll be able to create a business that is up and running and totally smooth, and you'll have your mental health first. 

 

I also work with people one-on-one. And so this can be very specialized, we work together for three months at a time. If you're interested in a one-on-one, I highly encourage you to sign up for a free consultation call that's on the contact page of my website. And we can talk about what's going on for you and what your customized approach would be. 

 

All right, my friends. 

 

Let's put a fork on that thought of What if it doesn't work? 

 

Instead, ask yourself:

What if it does? What becomes possible? How great will I feel when everything works out? 

 

Alright, my friends. Have a great week and I'll talk with you soon. Bye. Bye.

 

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Thank you for listening to My Freedom Grove Podcast. When you are ready to make your dream business a reality and take care of your mental health, I invite you to join the Unshakable Business Co-Lab. This is the mastermind membership you've been waiting for. There's no limits on your imagination, nor your timeline. We're with you every step of the way. To learn more, please visit www.myfreedomgrove.com/join. I'll see you there!